This is not a saying I use lightly. My daughter and I are in a constant battle of who's in charge for the time being. She is so much like me that it drives me crazy more often than not. Thats when it hit me… it's because she is so much like me. She loves clothes, fashion, she has an eye for detail. She likes to pick out what she's going to wear the day before and lay it out. She loves seeing what clothes I am setting up for shoots for my blog, and so... I decided to begin including her as part of it - to use it as a tool to affirm and encourage appropriate choices in fashion and the clothes she wears. Instead of just spending time alone working, let her be a part of it. So now I'm sharing my love of fashion with my daughter and she loves getting to be right in the middle of it all.

I see the struggle that moms’ and daughters have over clothes and it is real and it is messy. Believe me Tanner and I have small battles over this whole, “I can’t tell if she has shorts on because her top is so big its questionable!” Why is this a thing right now!? I know I need to choose my battles, and I am getting better about that, but I’ve learned that if I make her part of the process, she is happy to dive in with me and we don't have near the struggle.

Here is how I go about shopping for her. I look for things that resemble outfits that I would wear, but that are age appropriate for her. I don’t take her shopping because that is way too much of the, “stop asking me for random things you don’t need conversation.” Instead I order her several options online and have her pick what she wants to shoot pictures with me in. This allows her to have control over what she is wearing without it feeling like ‘my mom picks out my clothes’. Some preteens might not care, mine does. Now, if she has a great attitude about it all, then she gets to keep one thing from our shoot, whatever her favorite item was… it's now hers. This has worked like a charm and she truly loves seeing the end results and I love praising her on her choices and modesty. This has made it so much more about what she can wear as opposed to what she can’t wear. It also breaks up my budget from spending a lot at once - we build her a wardrobe over time that she really likes and wears.

My favorite part of this new approach is that it gives me time back with her. My mom guilt is real and real big most of the time. I don’t want to miss a moment and as a working mom, that happens so much more than I would like. I also love the memories and pictures we have to look back on. So: 1. there is hope! 2. I've found a better way than just "going shopping". 3. You don't need a blog to help funnel the choices - find creative ways to make it more about what she can wear and not what she can't - and see if that reduces the battles and stress as our little girls become young women :-).

xo

Riane

Sharing My Love of Fashion with My Daughter!